Why It's Okay To Be Picky
"You're too picky" "Just settle" "You're making what you want too big of a deal"
Why it's okay to be picky, or the word I like to use is, intentional, when planning a wedding.
No one knows you and you're fiancé, and the love you share better than you two. The way you plan your wedding should reflect that. I know some of you really just want a big, beautiful, traditional wedding and that's totally fine if it's true to you. But this post is for the brides that are struggling between what's unfortunately more often than not expected out of a wedding day and what's honest to themselves. For the bride and groom that want to spend the day surrounded by those dearest to them while saying their vows at the base of a mountain with the glorious peaks cascading above, to dance underneath the stars being fully in the moment, or simply the two of you coming together, to share that amazing and beautifully promise of forever.
I haven't shared too much, if anything actually haha, about my own wedding planning and the process behind really creating a day that is a true portrait of our love. I won't be sharing too much right now either because I want the day to be a bit of a surprise! (I already have so many posts though to write after though!! Haha) But I do want to share a bit right now of mine and Stephen's journey through this exciting and sometimes stressful time.
I have been trying to think of the best way to simplify our process, because I know that if I ran into this many roadblocks that others must have too! Right..? The wedding planning struggle is real! I will say that I was never that girl to dream of her wedding day since she was little. I actually could never picture myself getting married because to me it was associated with a big poofy dress, a lot of money spent, and the traditional wedding decor. If that's truly what you love and want that's totally fine! But it wasn't me at all and even as a young girl it made weddings feel like a foreign day. When Stephen and I first got engaged, I remember us both agreeing it wouldn't look anything like a wedding in the traditional sense. Even as friends and family pressed for details of the day, we really didn't know what to tell them. We finally went coffee shop hopping for an entire evening and came up with something we were excited about. Really excited about!
1. Write down what's really important to you both as individuals and as a couple.
Stephen and I wrote down our priorities. What was truly important to us and anything that would make the day mean the most to each of us. We also wrote a small statement that would become the concrete piece that we keep coming back to when making any decision. Our statement is
"The celebration of two souls becoming one. A promise to love each other for the rest of our lives. Good food, good music, surrounded by good people, and overwhelmed by the love."
Im just going to add that it's extremely important that you and your fiancé are on the same page throughout the process!
2. Create a mood board!
This is basically putting your list of what's important and meaningful into a visual context. It's so fun and really helps you keep everything focused on your vision. (This also really helps family and friends understand where you are coming from and if there is anyone that has a hard time letting go of traditions, a visual idea is so so helpful!)
(Images from Pinterest )
3. As you search for a location/venue keep in mind again, what's important. I knew that if we were going to have a reception I wanted to design the table and place settings. We didn't want a caterer, we wanted to sit at the same table with my family and friends, and have it feel more like a big family dinner than anything else. I found that a lot of venues provided their own caterers and it was part of the total price. Both of which just didn't work for us.
4. Keep coming back to what's important. The way the day looks may end up a little or a lot different than what you had first imagined but the most important aspects should always stay. For Stephen and I that meant keeping within our budget, saying our vows in a breathtaking location, and keeping it intimate and full of the people we love. A day that will really be honest to our love story, and even if it rains we will have still have all the things that mean the most, in fact, we think we might prefer it ;)